How To Deal With Co-Dependency

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. Co-Dependency can also be an emotional and behavioral condition which affects a persons ability of having a mutually-satisfying relationship. People that are co-dependent usually get into a relationship that is one-decided and emotionally destructive that is abusive: physically or emotionally. The behavior has been learned from watching and imitating from other family members that show it. It can be compulsive, maladaptive behaviours that was learned from family members that has been used to survive in a family which is experiencing huge emotional stress and/or pain. 


A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored or denied. There are underlying problems that include addiction to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling; abuse is in existence it could be physical, emotional, or sexual; a family member suffering from a chronic, physical, or mental illness. People in dysfunctional families detach themselves, they don't feel or confront emotions, don't trust anybody, and don't acknowledge that problems exist. 


An adult who is co-dependent has a tendency to be involved in a relationship with a person that is unreliable, emotionally unavailable or is needy. This is because people that are co-dependent provide and control everything that is in a relationship and not their own needs, this will set them up for involvement in the relationship. 


When a co-dependent person encounters or becomes involved with a person who is "healthy" or has healthy boundaries, they still operate on their own system. However, they usually don't get involved in "healthy" relationships. 


Co-dependent behaviors like low self-esteem is a result of the situations that they grew up in. They look to anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They develop compulsive behaviors, which is a psychological state where a person acts against their own will or conscious desires in which the behavior sources of great emotional pain and stress.